I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
