I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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