When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
