it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
