dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
