she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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