You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
