Sponge bath it is.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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