Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
