So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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