actually, I'm a sock model
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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