oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
