please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
