420 ftw
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
