I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
