Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
