Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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