She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
