Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
