my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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