All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
