when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
