he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
