But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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