Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
