My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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