Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
