i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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