Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
