so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
