You don't have asthma, your pregnant
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
