You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
