smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
