well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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