Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
