DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
