Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
