Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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