Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
