Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
