@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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