Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
