whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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