I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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