bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
