sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
