I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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