6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
