i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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