WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
