Do vagina's smell?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
