I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
